Well Kept Lies
I might of told a lie or two
In my travels I’m prone to do
I’m not proud but that’s not new
to me
Told a lie
I profaned
Now it’s gotta be maintained
I made it up
As I slept
Now it’s gotta be well kept
Now I keep track of who gets told
What is true and what might be bold
It’s complicated but I hold
To them
Told a lie
I profaned
Now it’s gotta be maintained
I made it up
As I slept
Now it’s gotta be well kept
Well kept lies
I wish I’d never given birth
To half-truths that have no worth
Well kept lies
Well kept lies
These are witnesses to my dearth
That somebody will unearth
Well kept lies
Well kept lies
I have to watch just what I say
I have to watch the time of day
I have to keep the truth away
From them
Told a lie
I profaned
Now it’s gotta be maintained
I made it up
As I slept
Now it’s gotta be well kept
Well kept lies
Well kept lies
It gets old I got to admit
My personality might split
Because the truth I can’t admit
To them
Told a lie
I profaned
Now it’s gotta be maintained
I made it up
As I slept
Now it’s gotta be well kept
Told a lie
I profaned
Now it’s gotta be maintained
I made it up
As I slept
Now it’s gotta be well kept
Told a lie
Now it’s gotta be maintained
Made it up
Now it’s gotta be well kept
Told a lie
Made it up
Told a lie
Your Fuse
Don’t be shy and
Don’t be cute
Don’t put on your parachute
Don’t be crass and
Don’t be cruel
We’re not back in your grade school
Don’t come at me you’re paper mache
In your camo and green beret
You’re carrying baggage so unload
Hear me out before you implode
Your fuse is lit
You’re running low
You’re like that frog that’s boiling slow
Your fuse is lit
You’re overdrawn
That time you think you’ve got is gone
Don’t be early
Don’t be late
Don’t act like this is your fate
Don’t be sad and
Don’t be blue
This just might be your breakthrough
Don’t come at me you’re paper mache
In your camo and green beret
You’re carrying baggage so unload
Hear me out before you implode
Your fuse is lit
You’re running low
You’re like that frog that’s boiling slow
Your fuse is lit
You’re overdrawn
That time you think you’ve got is gone
Don’t be cheerful
Don’t be pleased
Wait until you have been squeezed
Don’t be sorry
Don’t be sad
This might be your launching pad
Don’t come at me you’re paper mache
In your camo and green beret
You’re carrying baggage so unload
Hear me out before you implode
Your fuse is lit
You’re running low
You’re like that frog that’s boiling slow
Your fuse is lit
You’re overdrawn
That time you think you’ve got is gone
Your fuse is lit
You’re too widespread
Right now you’re hanging by a thread
Your fuse is lit
You’re running down
You’re in too deep you’re gonna drown
Your fuse is lit
You’re running low
You’re like that frog that’s boiling slow
Your fuse is lit
You’re overdrawn
That time you think you’ve got is gone
I Heard A Party Song
A party song!
Heard “Whip It” in the grocery store today
Won’t you please find something else to play?
I don’t begrudge them royalties
But can you pick something else please
That one’s from my youth and there it should stay.
That is a party song
It deserves a better venue
I might want to sing along
A party song
That is a party song
It deserves a better venue
I might want to dance along
A party song!
A party song!
Heard “Rock Lobster” while in Target today
Don’t you got something else you can play?
I don’t begrudge them royalties
But can you pick something else please
That one’s too good for this place wouldn’t you say?
That is a party song
It deserves a better venue
I might want to sing along
A party song
That is a party song
It deserves a better venue
I might want to dance along
A party song!
I heard Psycho Killer in Goodyear today
Surely you got something more apropos to play?
I don’t begrudge them royalties
But can you pick something else please
That one don’t hit the same in the garage bay
A party song!
It deserves a better venue
A party song!
That is a party song
It deserves a better venue
I might want to sing along
A party song
That is a party song
It deserves a better venue
I might want to dance along
A party song!
That is a party song
It deserves a better venue
We might want to sing along
A party song
That is a party song
It deserves a better venue
We might want to dance along
A party song!
A party song
It deserves a better venue
We might want to sing along
A party song
It deserves a better venue
We might want to dance along
Gotta Get Outta The House
Been standing here at the window
It’s been ten minutes now
I got my keys in my hand
I’m going somewhere somehow
Somehow
Been in here
Way way too long now
Climbing the walls
GOT TO
Get outta the house right now
GOT TO
Get outta the house
GOT TO
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Can’t tell you what is what
I ain’t got no reason why
I gotta hit that door in a hurry
And not bother to say goodbye
Goodbye
Been in here
Way way too long now
Climbing the walls
GOT TO
Get outta the house right now
GOT TO
Get outta the house
GOT TO
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
It don’t matter where I go
To the mall or the picture show
I got nothing up my sleeve
It just matters that I leave
I don’t know if it’s the time of day
Or I’ve been inside too long
All I know is being in here
Is starting to feel all wrong
All wrong
I don’t know just what to say
I ain’t got no good excuse
Really don’t got a place in mind
Just gotta be let loose
Let loose
Been in here
Way way too long now
Climbing the walls
GOT TO
Get outta the house right now
GOT TO
Get outta the house
GOT TO
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
GOT TO
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
GOT TO
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Get outta the house
Majoring in the Minors
Used to be we had nothing at all
Except our love and that was nothing small
Things have changed and now we got everything we need
But those things came with a price and now we must concede
Majoring in the minors
We were lovers now we’re whiners
We were just a boy and girl
Now our problems are first world
We complain in our recliners
Used to be we were happy just to talk
We didn’t need a car just a long walk
Things have changed and now we got everything we need
But those things came with a price and now we must concede
We’re majoring in the minors
We were lovers now we’re whiners
We were just a boy and girl
Now our problems are first world
We complain in our recliners
Used to be we would smile at anything
And we were happy with just a plastic ring
We did not need too much at all
I was Ken and she was my Barbie Doll
Things have changed and now we got everything we need
Now we’re majoring in the minors
We were lovers now we’re whiners
We were just a boy and girl
Now our problems are first world
We complain in our recliners
Now we’re majoring in the minors
We were lovers now we’re whiners
We were just a boy and girl
Now our problems are first world
We complain in our recliners
Majoring in the minors
Majoring in the minors
Your Target
She falls into hurt
She starts into flirt
Look around, what do you want?
Here I am so nonchalant
I don’t have to submit
I won’t be your target
She gets into want
She starts up her taunt
Look around, what do you want?
Here I am so nonchalant
I don’t have to submit
I won’t be your target
She wants all there was
She brings out her claws
Look around, what do you see?
Here I am ready to bleed
I don’t have to submit
I won’t be your target
I don’t have to submit
I don’t have to
I won’t be your target
I won’t be your target
I don’t have to
I won’t be
I won’t be
I won’t be your target
Lady in a Lexus
I was just pulling out of my parking spot
Leaving the grocery store
When I heard a screech and a honk
So I stomped the gas to the floor
I tore outta there like a shot
‘Cause I didn’t wanna get run down
And I looked in the rearview mirror
To see who’s the honking clown
First thing I saw was sunglasses
Beneath black hair piled high
Saw that it was a Lexus
The color of the evening sky
She was driving with a fury
Raising dust in the parking lot
She had her eye fixed on me
It was a feminine juggernaut
Lady in a Lexus
Coming after me
Lady in a Lexus
I don’t think we agree
It was a
Lady in a Lexus
Riding on my tail
Lady in a Lexus
Showing me her fingernail
We raced around the parking lot
Then out into the street
She was burning rubber
And she was not discreet
I stepped on the gas into traffic
And took to the freeway ramp
But she was right behind me
Driving like a Grand Prix champ
I zipped through the 5 o’clock traffic
Made twists and turns galore
But I couldn’t shake that Lexus
The lady was too hard core
But I got lucky at the exit ramp
And I left her up on the freeway
I swore there would be no next time
This was nearly my doomsday
Lady in a Lexus
Coming after me
Lady in a Lexus
I don’t think we agree
It was a
Lady in a Lexus
Riding on my tail
Lady in a Lexus
Showing me her fingernail
And as I was tooling the long way home
I looked back just to make sure
And there behind me was the Lexus
My confidence was premature
She zipped past me on the left
And with a screech stopped just ahead
I couldn’t get past and had to brake
And my engine went cold dead
She got out of that Lexus
And strolled up to my face
She told me to roll down the window
But I did not just in case
She had her hands on her hips
With a frown and big sunglasses
I had my hands on the wheel
My blood had turned to molasses
Lady in a Lexus
Coming after me
Lady in a Lexus
I don’t think we agree
It was a
Lady in a Lexus
Riding on my tail
Lady in a Lexus
Showing me her fingernail
She lectured me through the tinted glass
And frowned and bobbed her head
And she punched the window with a finger
The lady was seeing red
So I rolled down the window just a crack
And said “Excuse me ma’am”
And the lady was surprised to see me
Said “Thought you were that jackass Sam!”
Seems Jackass Sam don’t pay alimony
Or keep the kids when it’s time
The lady said she was sorry
That she confused me with that slime
Now I feel sorry for ol’ Jackass Sam
And the lot he had in life
But as I watched her walk away I thought
He was lucky to have had her as a wife
She was a
Lady in a Lexus
Coming after me
Lady in a Lexus
I don’t think we agree
She was a
Lady in a Lexus
Riding on my tail
Lady in a Lexus
Showing me her fingernail
She was a
Lady in a Lexus
Lady in a Lexus
She was a
Lady in a Lexus
Lady in a Lexus
Showing me her fingernail
She was a lady in a Lexus