There 4 U
I might forget appointments
I might not put on a shoe
I might not be the brightest bulb
But there is one thing that I do
If you need a friend near
If you need a friend who’s true
I might not be your first choice
But I’ll be there for you
I might spend too much on booze
I don’t know how to kung fu
I might not be the sharpest knife
But there is one thing that I do
If you need a friend near
If you need a friend who’s true
I might not be your first choice
But I’ll be there for you
If you need a friend near
If you need a friend who’s true
I might not be your first choice
But I’ll be there for you
I might forget your birthday
I might fail that interview
I should not go on Jeopardy!
But there is one thing that I do
I’ve broken things I was fixing
I think I’ve forgot who’s who
I might have a few screws loose
But there is one thing that I do
I might have dented your car
I might think like a corkscrew
I’m as sharp as a bowling ball
But there is one thing that I do
If you need a friend near
If you need a friend who’s true
I might not be your first choice
But I’ll be there for you
If you need a friend near
If you need a friend who’s true
I might not be your first choice
But I’ll be there for you
If you need a friend near
If you need a friend who’s true
I might not be your first choice
But I’ll be there for you
Need a Nap
I did not get enough sleep last night
And now I can’t do anything right
My eyes are red, my temper short
My attitude needs some life support
I need a nap
To set me straight
I need a nap
And it cannot wait
I need a
Got a wrinkled shirt, my hair’s a mess
Everything’s hard and I can’t finesse
If I sit too long my eyes will close
And my body will start to decompose
I need a nap
To set me straight
I need a nap
And it cannot wait
I need a nap
I need a nap
I need a
I’m feeling weak, can’t hold a thought
I could drink a whole coffee pot
My hands tremble, my hair it hurts
And I just hate those extroverts
I need a nap
To set me straight
I need a nap
And it cannot wait
I need a nap
I need a nap
I need a nap
Like We Do
We can’t help but
Doing what we know
Going with the flow
Getting all gung-ho
We can’t help but
Stumping our big toe
Losing the lotto
Being a bozo
Getting over due
Buying something new
Doing like we do
Doing what we know
Going like we go
Doing like we do
Like we do
We can’t help but
Sipping a bordeaux
Drinking with gusto
Eating a gyro
We can’t help but
Using the lingo
Saying I dunno
Yelling tallyho
Drinking a cold brew
Sniffing at the glue
Doing like we do
Doing what we know
Going like we go
Doing like we do
Like we do
Like we do
We can’t help but
Picking the banjo
Playing a bongo
Getting off tempo
We can’t help but
Going tomorrow
Having vertigo
Smoking tobacco
We can’t help
Like we do
We can’t help
We can’t help but
Riding the metro
Walking through the snow
Going to the show
We can’t help but
Taking the free throw
Practicing judo
Something I dunno
Being without a clue
Saying I love you
Doing like we do
Coming after you
Calling in our crew
Doing like we do
Taking the drive thru
Sitting in the queue
Doing like we do
Doing what we know
Going like we go
Doing like we do
Like we do
Like we do
Doing what we know
Going like we go
Doing like we do
Like we do
I Can’t Let Bonnie Go
I work with her all the time
But can’t give her a minute nor a dime
To be with her it is a crime
For sure! For sure!
It is a crime
For sure! For sure!
I won’t
I won’t
I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t
I
I can’t let Bonnie go
But I
Don’t ever wanna let it show
For sure! For sure!
I might like or love her too
But there is nothing I can do
To try to help her is taboo
For sure! For sure!
I won’t
I won’t
I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t
I
I can’t let Bonnie go
But I
Don’t ever wanna let it show
I might see her way too much
But I can’t speak or try to touch
Much less come through for her in the clutch
For sure! For sure!
I won’t
I won’t
I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t
I
I can’t let Bonnie go
But I
Don’t ever wanna let it show
I
I can’t let Bonnie go
But I
Don’t ever wanna let it show
I’m Brushing Up On My Japanese
I’m brushing up on my Japanese
I’m going to Japan and what if I sneeze?
I wanna be able to say “Yes sir” and “Please”
So I’m brushing up on my Japanese
I hear they talk funny over there
But it would be rude if I just stare
So I’m gearing up for my vacay
By learning some words that I might say
I’m brushing up on my Japanese
I’m going to Japan and what if I sneeze?
I wanna be able to say “Yes sir” and “Please”
So I’m brushing up on my Japanese
Not sure I’ll be able to say it right
So I hope they empathize with my plight
I trust there’s good folks over there
Will let it go if I chance to swear
I’m brushing up on my Japanese
I’m going to Japan and what if I sneeze?
I wanna be able to say “Yes sir” and “Please”
So I’m brushing up on my Japanese
It’s going to be strange, I won’t lie
To hear their sounds and see their sky
To taste their drinks and eat their food
So I’ll bone up so I won’t be rude
I’m brushing up on my Japanese
I’m going to Japan and what if I sneeze?
I wanna be able to say “Yes sir” and “Please”
So I’m brushing up on my Japanese
I’m brushing up on my Japanese
I’m brushing up on my Japanese
I’m brushing up on my Japanese
Blah Blah Blah
I can’t hear what you say
I only see what you do
So use all the words you want
But be sure to give me follow through
Stand and give a speech and I say
Rah rah rah
Do me wrong again and I go
Wah wah wah
Open up your mouth and I hear
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
You speak a little louder
Than you did the last time
You wave your hands and stomp your feet
Not really all that sublime
Stand and give a speech and I say
Rah rah rah
Do me wrong again and I go
Wah wah wah
Open up your mouth and I hear
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
I can’t hear your words
My ears are not endowed
They have been pounded deaf
‘Cause your actions are so loud
You get right in my face
You lock your angry eyes on mine
You wonder what’s wrong with me
You think I am not genuine
Stand and give a speech and I say
Rah rah rah
Do me wrong again and I go
Wah wah wah
Open up your mouth and I hear
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Stand and give a speech and I say
Rah rah rah
Do me wrong again and I go
Wah wah wah
Open up your mouth and I hear
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Rah rah rah
Wah wah wah
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Eye Contact
If I see you standing over there
I will try to act like I don’t care
It’s too risky to try to engage
To talk to someone is to be onstage
To look a human in the eyes
It’s hard to keep up my disguise
It’s uncomfortable that’s a fact
So let us not make eye contact
If I see you coming down the stairs
I will act like I am unawares
My apologies if that seems unfair
I don’t want to appear as though I care
To look a human in the eyes
It’s hard to keep up my disguise
It’s uncomfortable that’s a fact
So let us not make eye contact
I might know your name or you might mine
If we can leave it there then that’s just fine
Let’s not start what might end up in war
Let’s not greet or open up rapport
To look a human in the eyes
It’s hard to keep up my disguise
It’s uncomfortable that’s a fact
So let us not make eye contact
Make eye contact
Make eye contact
To look a human in the eyes
It’s hard to keep up my disguise
It’s uncomfortable that’s a fact
So let us not make eye contact
Make eye contact
Make eye contact
Make eye contact
Make eye contact
IYKYK
A little bit of flour makes it neat
A little bit of sugar makes it sweet
A little bit of milk makes it complete
If you know
Then you know
I am talking in code I guess
Just had to get this offa my chest
If you know you know you know
If you know you know
A little bit of major makes it neat
A little bit of minor makes it sweet
A little bit of both makes it complete
If you know
Then you know
I am talking in code I guess
Just had to get this offa my chest
If you know you know you know
If you know you know
If you know you know you know
If you know
Then you know
A little bit of love makes it neat
A little bit of tenderness makes it sweet
A whole lotta of patience makes it complete
If you know
Then you know
Just had to get this offa my chest
If you know you know you know
If you know you know
If you know you know you know
If you know
Then you know
If you know you know you know
If you know you know
I’m Not Proud Of My Car
I did not buy my car to save the planet
I did not buy my car to be emission free
I bought my car so I don’t have to walk
To get from point A to point B
I did not buy my car because it’s sexy
I did not buy my car because its cool
I did not buy my car to make a statement
I bought my car ‘cause it is tight with fuel
I’m not proud of my car
In no way is it my avatar
It’s really not all that nice
‘Cause I bought it for the price
No I’m not proud of my car
I did not buy my car for it’s engine
I did not buy my car for it’s headlight glow
I did not buy my car for how it handles
I bought my car because the miles were low
I’m not proud of my car
In no way is it my avatar
It’s really not all that nice
‘Cause I bought it for the price
No I’m not proud of my car
Maybe I let my car get too dirty
What if I cleaned the seats and the trunk?
What if I got that engine light checked?
Maybe it wouldn’t seem like a piece of junk
I did not buy my car for it’s color
I did not buy my car for it’s trim
I did not buy my car for it’s extras
I bought my car because my wallet’s thin
I’m not proud of my car
In no way is it my avatar
It’s really not all that nice
‘Cause I bought it for the price
No I’m not proud of my car
I’m not proud of my car
In no way is it my avatar
It’s really not all that nice
‘Cause I bought it for the price
No I’m not proud of my car
Your Chair
There’s a chair that no one sits on
That’s in my living room
It’s a good place to watch TV
But now it’s an heirloom
Your chair is where we left it
It’s waiting for you still
It’s time to get rid of it
But I know I never will
There’s a chair that no one sits on
It’s got a cushioned seat
It’s a good place to rest and doze
But it’s covered with a sheet
Your chair is where we left it
It’s waiting for you still
It’s time to get rid of it
But I know I never will
I don’t want to change anything
There’s been enough change for me
I got too much stuff and too many cars
And there is no longer a we
There’s a chair that no one uses
That I will not adjust
It’s comfortable and lazy
But it’s just catching dust
There’s a chair that no one uses
That I will not take out
It would improve the room I know
That’s not what it’s about
Your chair is where we left it
It’s waiting for you still
It’s time to get rid of it
But I know I never will
Your chair is where we left it
It’s waiting for you still
It’s time to get rid of it
But I know I never will
Hittin’ All The Lights
I don’t know what the problem is
I can’t say
All I know is just what I see
I’m getting my way
Found cash in my pocket
A girl she smiled at me
Got a raise at work and then
Won football fantasy
Somebody up there likes me
I’m soaring to new heights
Better buy a lotto ticket ‘cause
I’m hitting all the lights
This is weird this is new to me
Doing no wrong
Is this what it feels like to win?
I’ll play along
Got a rock star parking spot
At the grocery store
Got an offer from a label
That was too good to ignore!
Somebody up there likes me
I’m soaring to new heights
Better buy a lotto ticket ‘cause
I’m hitting all the lights
Somebody up there likes me
I’m soaring to new heights
Better buy a lotto ticket ‘cause
I’m hitting all the lights
Am I dead?
Is this what it’s like?
Winning a lot?
Can it last?
Karma is a bitch until it’s not!
Got an extra burger
For free by accident
My girl she got angry
But it was a nonevent
Somebody up there likes me
I’m soaring to new heights
Better buy a lotto ticket ‘cause
I’m hitting all the lights
Somebody up there likes me
I’m soaring to new heights
Better buy a lotto ticket ‘cause
I’m hitting all the lights
Hitting all the lights
Hitting all the lights
Somebody up there likes me
I’m soaring to new heights
Better buy a lotto ticket ‘cause
I’m hitting all the lights
Somebody up there likes me
I’m soaring to new heights
Better buy a lotto ticket ‘cause
I’m hitting all the lights
Hitting all the lights
Somebody up there likes me
Hitting all the lights
Somebody up there likes me
I’m hitting all the lights